Mohammed: Meeting #1

The minute Mohammed mentioned his love of soccer I relaxed, knowing I had found common ground with this young man from Saudi Arabia.  It amused me how effortlessly our conversation flowed after we found this point of common interest.  Before he mentioned his love of soccer, our conversation had consisted of shallow questions and answers: our names, hometowns, majors, etc.  As we each answered these surface level questions, we seemed only to be deepening the division we knew existed between us.   In fact the only things Mohammed and I had in common were our classifications as college students and our unspoken agreement that our conversation was progressing in tedious agony.  In an attempt to move the conversation away from these surface level questions, I asked him to name one thing he missed about Saudi Arabia.  He immediately became animated as he explained his passion for soccer and disclosed how much he missed playing the sport on a daily basis.  Every trace of apprehension disappeared as he expressed his love for the sport, lamenting that he only played once a week in America.  I quickly latched onto this commonality, knowing that this basis, this piece of common ground, could provide a foundation for a deep and meaningful conversation.  We compared our favorite positions, his midfield and mine defense, and debated about the pros and cons of each.  While the first minutes of our conversation had consisted of shifting glances and nervous ticks, our common love of soccer immediately formed a bond between us, allowing our conversation to flow freely and effortlessly.

Growing more comfortable with Mohammed, I confessed to him that I did not know much about Saudi Arabia, besides its location on a map.  Without hesitation, he began explaining his country to me, eager to share his knowledge of the Middle East with me.  Instead of listing facts and figures about the country, Mohammed explained interesting and relevant aspects of Saudi Arabia.  He relied on comparisons and differences between his home country and America in order to describe his country in a context I could understand.  He told me antidotes of his travels to surrounding countries, such as the United Arab Emirates, highlighting unique cultural aspects of each country.  Since one of my close friends at TCU is from Dubai, Mohammed and I found yet another commonality to add to our growing patch of common ground.  As an aspiring mechanical engineer, Mohammed knew many interesting details about Middle Eastern architecture.  He vividly described the buildings and structures found in Middle Eastern countries, providing me with a vivid mental picture of how Middle Eastern societies look.

Our conversation eventually turned into a discussion of his experiences in the United States.  Mohammed explained to me that the Saudi Arabian government pays for his expenses while he is studying in America.  According to Mohammed, the Saudi Arabian government pays for college students to attend American universities to learn English and obtain degrees specifically in the areas of engineering and science.  Before coming to the United States, Mohammed studied at a university in Jordan; however, after a poor experience with an unreasonable professor, his father allowed him to transfer to a university in the United States.  Mohammed spent his first months in Norman, Oklahoma, studying mechanical engineering and taking English language courses at Oklahoma University.  After discovering that the “rural” setting of the university was not a fit for him, he moved to Fort Worth and began taking English courses at TCU.  I listened in fascination as he told me about his experiences and travels, amazed at his independence and courage to travel and study abroad; I have never even been out of the United States.  At this moment, I admitted to myself that I had unconsciously expected to be the superior in this conversation, doing the ESL student a favor, when in fact, I was learning more from him and his vast worldwide knowledge than I could ever reciprocate.

By the end of our meeting, Mohammed and I were conversing as friends.   We discussed everything from our love of movies to our Spring Break plans.  After telling Mohammed that I would be traveling to Washington D.C. for Spring Break, he offered me the name of a restaurant famous for its Saudi Arabian cuisine.  He told me of his weekend plans to travel to Norman to visit friends and his Spring Break plans to go to Disney World.  As our conversation came to a close, we shook hands and agreed to meet the following week, same time and same place.

What I will remember most about this first conversation is how transparent Mohammed was when conversing with me.  When he did not know the correct English word, he would apologize, ask if I knew it, and then move on.  He animatedly talked with no inhibitions, revealing to me personal aspects of his life without a second thought.  He explained to me about the Mecca pilgrimage, which actually takes place in his home city of Hijaz, and his Muslim faith.  I thought this was an extremely brave move on his part, openly talking about his faith and culture to complete stranger.  As I was walking back to my dormitory, I forced myself to reflect on my own honesty in our conversation.  Had I offered Mohammed the same level of honesty and trust as he had extended to me?  No.  I had not.  I was so worried about selecting my words and avoiding offense that I doubted whether Mohammed left the meeting as enriched as I was.  My goal for our next meeting is to reciprocate his offer of trust and honesty; to be as open and transparent with him as he was with me, allowing our conversation to grow deeper and our friendship to grow.